People who are struggling with Codependency and related issues (in general) at their psychological core have “arrested emotional development”.
For the treatment method I recommend click the “Emotional Intelligence Therapy” link above.
Codependency and Narcissist...
Most people dealing with these two issues have unconscious anxieties of intimacy and are self-defensive and at the same time are horrified of being alone.
Their solution to their emotional quandary is to form a "fantasy bond". This misconception of connection and closeness allows them to maintain the dreams of love and loving while preserving emotional distance.
Destructive fantasy bonds, which exist in a large majority of relationships, greatly reduce the likelihood couples achieving intimacy.
Below are the elements required to create the parent profile.
The Fantasy Bond
The Fantasy bond is a type of relationship where the basic tie is based on routines and roles, rather than spontaneous feelings. It is a term used to describe an imaginary connection formed originally by the infant with the parent or primary caregiver, but also describes an illusory connection to another person that adults attempt to establish in their intimate associations, which leads to deterioration in the relationship. This type of bond is differentiated from the positive bonding that occurs in secure attachments. The fantasy bond offers an illusion of love which prevents real emotional contact, and can be linked to the pseudo-independence of the self-parenting character.
Understanding Narcissistic Supply
Narcissistic supply is a concept in some psychoanalytic theories which describes a type of admiration, interpersonal support or sustenance drawn by an individual from his or her environment (especially from carers, codependents and others). The term is typically used in a negative sense, describing a pathological or excessive need for attention or admiration that does not take into account the feelings, opinions or preferences of other people.
The Narcissistic Parent
Narcissistic parent are parents affected by narcissism or narcissistic personality disorder. Typically narcissistic parents are exclusively and possessively close to their children and may be especially envious of their child's growing independence. In the face of this independence, the narcissistic parent "may experience a sense of loss, the child having served as an important source of self-esteem."The result may be what has been termed "narcissistic attachment"—the child always exists for the parent's benefit. Narcissistic people have extremely poor self esteem and feel the need to control how others regard them, deeply fearing they will be blamed or rejected and personal inadequacies exposed. They are self absorbed, some to the point of grandiosity, and preoccupied with protecting their self image. Their interpersonal behavior tends to be inflexible, and they often have an inability to admit faults or to feel empathy.
The parent or authority roll in psychological manipulation
Psychological manipulation is a type of social influence that aims to change the perception or behavior of others through underhanded, deceptive, or even abusive tactics. By advancing the interests of the manipulator, often at another's expense, such methods could be considered exploitative, abusive, devious and deceptive. Social influence is not necessarily negative. For example, doctors can try to persuade patients to change unhealthy habits. Social influence is generally perceived to be harmless when it respects the right of the influenced to accept or reject and is not unduly coercive. Depending on the context and motivations, social influence may constitute underhanded manipulation.
For the treatment method I recommend click the “Emotional Intelligence Therapy” link above.
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The Desire relationship is a type of relationship where the basic tie is based on exercises and projects, rather than natural feelings. It is a term used to describe an a fantasy relationship established originally by the child with the guardian or primary proper care provider, but also describes an illusory relationship to another personal that adults attempt to set up in their loving companies, which outcomes in devastation in the relationship.
This type of relationship is categorized from the positive relationship that happens in protected components. The dream relationship offers an impact of really like which prevents real emotional contact, and can be connected with the pseudo-independence of the self-parenting character.
The origins of an impact relationship can be found in the problems of youth being a guardian, rejection of which outcomes in an over-valuation and idealisation of the parent/parents in question.
The result can be a sensation of grandiosity using the internalisation of the mom or dad value systems, an acceptance of the inner author with its computerized thoughts[6] instead for real relevant.
Such over-idealisation of the past protects against the re-emergence of painful remembrances, but also connections into the perpetuation of current ersatz connections with only the item of idolatry customized in the new dream relationship.[8] The dream relationship features as a painkiller that decreases off sensation responses and prevents the development of a real sensation of self, and the more a personal comes to rely on goals of relationship, the less he or she will seek or be able to accept to really like and interest in a real relationship.
The dream relationship is the primary protection against depressive disorders, social pain, and existential fear. Infants normally comfort themselves by using images and self-soothing activities to ease the stress of being separated from their medical service suppliers, so when medical service suppliers are often not available or not reliable in meeting an child's needs, the child gradually changes to an picture of being connected with them. This dream relationship is a alternative for the really like and proper care that may be losing.
In later way of life the dream relationship may provide an illusory sensation of safety against the risk of the approach of deaths. To different levels, all people makes thought connections with people in their lives. Many people have a fear of nearness and at the same time are terrified of being alone. An ideal relationship allows them to maintain a certain emotional distance while reducing isolation, but this relationship decreases the chance of success in a relationship.
Therapists are informed to protected against the overall look of a wrong transfer based on an impact relationship and motivated especially by cockiness.
See also:
- Alice Miller
- Attachment theory
- Codependency
- Heinz Kohut
- Narcissistic parents
- Narcissistic supply
- Parentification
- True self and wrong self
- Robert Firestone